travel edition: the rise and fall of fear in Indonesia🇮🇩
Hati Hati! Everywhere religion, Forming new stereotypes
Part One. Hati! Hati!
Over the past week, Indonesia has gifted me with a mantra: "hati, hati!" – a playful local expression meaning "watch out!" It's everywhere, from road signs to my friends murmuring it as we tip-toe near volcanoes or play real-life Crossy Road at those wild motorcycle crossroads. Imagine it as our secret password to hack adulthood.
It sounded very much like what my mom would say every time before I travelled far. She'd load me up with cautionary tales about phone scams, dirty street eats, and suspiciously murky water. My boyfriend chipped in too, conjuring images of stomachache and headache. And as usual, their warnings had a grain of truth. We did have our fair share of diarrhea, walking in the middle of what appears to be ghetto at night, and choked on the Indian ocean water until throat sore. We had been thirsty, dizzy and dirty, friended sore back from long car rides in bumpy road. None of which was detailed in our travel agenda before, we envisioned turquoise seas, soft hands from spa ladies, tons and tons of greens and possible spiritual awakening from doing meditations in Bali. Those all happened as well.
But if I had known the worst of this trip, would I still do it? Probably yes. Because the known is always more comforting and less scary than the unknown. Like walking into a completely dark tunnel with only a torch in hand, you build up elaborate stories and what-ifs inside, imagining all sorts of creatures lurking ahead.
So the most heart-pounding chapter of my journey unfolded in my room, the night before I leave. It’s been three years since my last trip outside China, and my pre-trip checklist resembled a space shuttle's pre-launch procedure: sim card for staying connected, a huge battery bank to ensure that connection is 24/7, two bank cards to guarantee absolute financial security, hours spent on Little Red Book for insider scoop. I prepared so much that it might as well be a part-time job. I was washed by a giant wave of exhaustion as I was packing, so much to plan that I wish I never sign up for the trip.
And if all those before-travel preps are not enough, during-travel ticked the FOMO factor to the maximum: fear of missing out and being abandoned by friends, fear of missing time - the possibilities of wasting time at touristy spots, missing flight times or sleep through alarm clocks…
Wrapped in so much fear, why do I still do it?
Part Two. Everywhere Religion
Cleaning is my mom’s religion. She believes any germs are bad, and when we return from the outside world, we are deemed to be germ people, a sacrifice to the world beyond her domain. So she starts cleaning. She sprays us with her self-made saltwater cleaning device, targeting our backs, hair, and yes, our butt, along with any potential points of contact with the public. After we've been thoroughly sanitized, it's the turn of our phones, watches, and any personal items we've come into contact with. Undoubtedly, she's often pretty tired after this half-hour-long battle.
So yes, you could say safeguarding her loved ones from germs is a belief deeply ingrained in my mom. And the challenge lies in the fact that my dad and I haven't fully converted to her germ-fighting faith just yet.
When I was in Indonesia, my first impression of the country is observing the spraying hoses inside the bathrooms for people to clean their feet before praying, it brought my mom to mind. Naturally, their actions were propelled by two entirely distinct motives, yet they all appeared to serve a similar purpose — to soothe the mind amid unknown fears, seeking a hint of certainty within the unpredictability of daily life.
Unlike China, Indonesia is a notably more religious country. It seems that people are required to indicate their religion on their ID cards, and to my surprise, Confucianism was listed as one of the six officially recognized religions, alongside Protestantism, Catholicism, Hinduism, and Buddhism. Perhaps these categorizations provide the government with a sense of order as well? But how do followers of Confucianism practice their rituals? Do they bow to elders and celebrate the spring festival? And who or what is considered divine in the context of Confucianism?
This intriguing information was shared with me by my Airbnb host in Jogja, a city renowned for its traditional arts and cultural heritage, much like Beijing in China. For simplicity, let's call her Ms. A.
Ms. A had a round face and dark skin; she was somewhat shy, even a bit flustered when I met her by the door. There was something very genuine about her that made me curious. And her demeanor seemed different from most local people I had met, more Western. Ms. A has managed the Airbnb with her sister for 7 years. While she communicates with guests in decent English, her sister, wearing a hijab, is the quiet presence, watering plants and drying clothes on the racks.
Choosing not to visit Borobudur, I bid my college friends goodbye and settled in for an early night. I noticed she was watching a Korean show before (apparently K-dramas were popular among Indonesian youth), so the conversation started with our favorite shows and gradually shifted to religion.
Accustomed to wearing shorts and short sleeves, she mentioned that the increasing use of hijabs made her uncomfortable. There was an instance when she attended a friend’s funeral and, along with her friends, chose not to wear a hijab, resulting in some strange looks. Over time, not wearing a hijab became the anti-norm for her, and her sister also reminded her to cover her body when visiting their parents. I can understand it from a conservatism point of view, it reminded me of the days not so comfortable walking in tank tops and shorts on the street of Beijing, but in the name of religion, it’s another matter.
On the other hand, the hijab seems to be the new fashion trend among young people. There was even a big hijab fashion contest online, according to Ms.A. This reminds me of the Hanfu girls in China. Both events have occurred in the past few years, which is an amazing parallel that demonstrates the revival of traditional costumes among young people globally. But does it also signal the rise of conservatism? The "ah-ah" moment lit up in my head, but then slowly dimmed, as increasingly segregated ideologies are not positive developments.
This was reaffirmed during a recent conversation I had with an artist whose work is showing at the local museum. His sensitive work was taken down (above) from showing in a major exhibition, which indicates a conservative streak within the art institution.
Part Three. Forming new stereotypes
On the other side, I witnessed this phenomenon among the beautiful Balinese people. When observing the Hinduism rituals in Bali, I noticed boxes of flowers outside every house (known as Canang Sari), shops, and people performing rituals every morning. These boxes contain a little bit of various offerings: rice, flowers, cookies, and scents (I became aware of them when I accidentally stepped on one). Sometimes even dogs nibble on these offerings. It’s a heartwarming sight. A friend shared a story about someone who picked at the flowers, and bad things supposedly happened to them. Maybe it’s a myth, but it remained a mystery throughout our trip.
It's often said that the Bali is the land of smiling people. My friend told me that while the majority of businesses are owned by white people, yet the locals remain mild, patient, and pleasant to be around—a stark contrast to bustling Beijing. They seem to possess a certain sense of centeredness. When believing that everything can be considered holy, and does this belief in holiness has the power to make an individual holy or more fearless as well?
Ms.A went on to complain about the Chinese kids she has to host for her work here; they are rich and spoiled. She also mentioned the pressure she faced when her supervisor told her, “Don't you know how rich they are?” I sympathized with her but also wondered if it has to do with us growing up without the influence of religion to regulate our behavior.
Slowly, a new stereotype was forming: those who have faith are considered conscious beings, while those who do not are assumed to lack a moral code.
The trip was short but my experience shook something core, again, I dreaded about coming back, with a hint of fear, to return to a place of majority atheists.
And I start seeing this from my friend.
When we were snorkeling together at Nusa Penida, I watched my friend jump and float in the water like a happy big feet baby, while I struggling with the suffocation every time bite on the mouth piece of the mask for another dive.
Snorkelling required breathing shifting from nose to just mouth, and usually will need several choke on the water to learn.
When choking on the water, my throat was cutting dry, I imagined the slaty water is like salt marinating beef, sucking out all the water at once. It’s a circus act, balancing the running nose, foggy lens and oversized fins all at once. I forced myself to enjoy and put on a smile, but every time I did that, chunk of salty water flowed in and I thought about this is probably what drowning in water feels like.
The abundant fish was beautiful but they are not from my world, I gave up the mask and decided to just hold my breath to dive, and finally enjoyed a taste of peacefulness in the water. Occasionally look up to that friend with awe. Maybe part of me is jealous of her get to enjoy anything without any fear, and I admire that about her too.
To Friend that hold our hands in the dark.
OMG hahah I just learned that one in Duolingo and I jumped on my seat when I saw the start of your text! “Hey!!!! I know that one!!!!” lmao I don’t know why I study Indonesian but it’s honestly nice to not have a purpose (for now) for a language.